Buried in the learned and fecund pages of Ibn Khallikan (IV.43) is an amusing tale of an impoverished poet of medieval Sicily.  Who will object to its retelling? 

There was once an itinerant poet named Ibn Al-Muwaddib, who was a native of Kairouan in Tunisia.  As a crafter of verses, he had made a good reputation for himself, but like many poets, his Bohemian lifestyle meant that he lived a rather precarious existence.  He seems to have had a weakness for alchemical experiments and the search for the philosopher’s stone.  “His manner of living was very miserable and parsimonious,” says Ibn Khallikan, “as he spent in chemical experiments whatever he was able to gain.”  Eventually he resolved to seek a better life in Sicily, which in his day was governed by the emir Thiqat Al-Dawla.  The historians tell us that Thiqat, who governed the island from 990 to 998 A.D., was known as a generous patron of the arts.  Perhaps this was the primary reason behind Ibn Al-Muwaddib’s decision to seek his fortune there.

But alas, the waters of life’s river do not always flow in the directions we wish.  For when our hapless poet was at sea, his vessel was intercepted by the Byzantine navy, and he found himself languishing in a prisoner’s dungeon. Fortunately, his period of captivity was not long; for Thiqat soon secured a truce with the Greeks, which contained a provision whereby all captives would be transported to him in Sicily.  So Ibn Al-Muwaddib was able to arrive at his destination after all.  When he finally met Thiqat, the poet recited some verses composed especially for the emir, extolling the latter’s benevolence and wisdom.

It was a pleasant custom in those days for political leaders to reward men of letters with occasional gifts of money or offices.  The poet expected some sort of remuneration from the emir, but much to Ibn Al-Muwaddib’s chagrin, no largesse was forthcoming.  The poet unwisely pressed his demand for charity, and the emir sent him away.  At this time Ibn Al-Muwaddib was living in shared quarters with another wayward alchemist.  One night, he ventured out in a state of drunkenness, intending to buy sugar-plums as a complement to his wine.  He must have caused a disturbance, for he was picked up by the shurta (police) and whisked away into custody.  The chief of police eventually brought the discordant poet before Thiqat, who recognized him.  This time, however, the emir was visibly angry.  “You good-for-nothing miscreant!” he cried.  “What do you think you are doing with this kind of behavior?” 

“It’s all untrue, Your Excellency!” responded the poet.  “May God preserve the emir and keep him safe!”  Somewhat mollified by this judicious flattery, Thiqat said, “So you call yourself a poet?  Then tell me, who was it who composed these lines:

The man nobly born is always plagued by scoundrels.” 

Ibn Al-Muwaddib, thinking perhaps that this line was an oblique reference to himself, responded “It was the same person, Excellency, who wrote this line:

The enmity of poets is the worst of acquisitions.”    

Upon hearing this, Thiqat’s eyes narrowed, and he was silent for a few moments. He then ordered the poet to be awarded a gift of one hundred rubais.  The shrewd emir was doubtless aware that, as history confirms, it is unwise to run afoul of the sentiments of those who wield the pen. Ibn Khallikan’s able translator, William M. De Slane (the source of the translated verses quoted here), tells us that although the word rubai means “quadruple,”  he was unable to discover the precise value of this Sicilian monetary denomination.  Most likely it was some type of gold or silver coin.  So ended the exchange between the poet and the emir.  For those who are interested, the verses exchanged between the two men are parts of longer lines from the famous poet Al-Mutanabbi.  The first hemistich quoted above belongs to this line:

Impose silence on that adviser who, in accusing me, leads you into error.  The man nobly born is always plagued by scoundrels.

The second hemistich is from this profound line:

The complots [conspiracies] of fools turn against themselves, and the enmity of poets is the worst of acquisitions.

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Read more edifying anecdotes and stories in the essay collection Centuries, available in paperback, hardcover, and Kindle editions.