A reader who is doing volunteer work says he’s feeling underappreciated and taken advantage of in his work. He wants to know to maintain his focus and positivity, and at the same protect himself from being used. We discuss some strategies and insights.
The article referred to in this podcast can be found here.
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[…] have recently discussed ways of handling a lack of appreciation. A certain independence of spirit, a soaring greatness of […]
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One of the most important (and difficult) realizations I’ve had is that most other adults do not share the same thoughts, values, and interpersonal perceptiveness as myself; most people see and experience the world vastly differently than I do. This is likely obvious in writing, but in real life situations it was a shock to me during my 20’s. I expected others to act with either sympathy or empathy towards me during the difficult times in my life, which are approaches I take with people when the situation calls for them. Depressingly, both are glaringly lacking today. This goes for appreciation as well, as I like to extend a hand when I see it’s needed, yet appreciation is rarely communicated to me in response. Life wounds us in many ways that we cannot anticipate, and in my case, I expected people’s behavior to be different than it really is. Most people simply don’t care about how I feel. I’m starting to gain the advantage of perspective now that I am in my early 30’s. I’ve found that the best approach for myself is to shift my perspective to: what is in my control, and what is not? I know what type of man I am, and whether or not others recognize and appreciate that is ultimately meaningless, as I have no control over something external and fleeting like that.
Ultimately, I focus on what is in my control (direction of thoughts and actions) and I just let the external play out as it may. The external doesn’t change the type of man I am; it simply just is. This might resonate with the person that sent the email.
Great podcast as usual, Quintus.
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Thanks for listening and commenting, George!
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