A reader says that he has a family member with anger issues. Every time he tries to help the family member, the person lashes out and becomes defensive. Nothing he does seems to make the situation any better. The reader wants to know if there is anything he can do.
We discuss.
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Kudos mate, you absolutely hit this one out of the park. The lesson that personal change has to come from within – it can’t be forced – is something that some folk sadly never learn. At a national level, government social and foreign policy would look very different if policymakers understood this.
At a personal level, your correspondent is hurting. Not only because he desperately wants to help his brother…but also simply because he himself reads your blog. This tells me that he wants to improve himself, and he will have a hard time understanding that his brother may not feel the same way. That will confuse him and tear him up.
To that man I say: Be the best man you can be. Love your brother. Kia kaha.
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Thanks, chief. It’s a hard thing to accept that some people will turn away offers of help, and deliberately choose to hurt themselves. I see it all the time.
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