In this podcast we talk about the origins of anger, and how to manage your anger issues. It’s not a time for sugar-coating things, and telling you what you want to hear. Most anger can be traceable to one or more of these factors:
Your failure to hold yourself accountable
Your lack of self-respect
Your lack of self-discipline
Desire for revenge
Sense of loss
Sense of guilt
This podcast can be heard on iTunes, Soundcloud, GooglePlay, and YouTube.
Read more in Digest, the newly-released, definitive collection of essays:
Good podcast, not exactly the most positive how you presented but I understand people have different styles.
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Anger is the self-destructive twin of passion. It’s a crutch used to avoid the responsibility of correcting or enduring the inadequacies of ourselves, each other, or the world. Whether or not it’s justified is irrelevant because it eats at the soul all the same.
Two men get ripped off by their fathers. One of them shoots up a nursing home. The other starts a community support program for other young men. Both of them chose their own paths.
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This may sound like deja vu, but I would be interested in your thoughts on how men deal with righteous anger stemming from legitimate grievances.
This is something that I struggle with often.
It’s hard to summarize, but it comes down to a profound sense of betrayal. To give an analogy (purely hypothetical), your father raises you with the belief that you will inherit his business, and your whole childhood is centered around that purpose. But by the time you reach adulthood, he runs the business into the ground for no good reason or sells it off to an enemy of the family for mere pennies.
No, the son is not entitled to run that business, but that was the message he received his whole life and obediently prepared to do because he cared about maintaining what his family had created. Now he must navigate a world in which he has been ill-prepared and ill-trained. On top of that, the father refuses to accept his failure in that regard and still thinks his son owes him respect.
That I think in a nutshell describes a lot of young Western men and their relationship with the society and culture they grew up in. They see what was, what could have been theirs to inherit and preserve, and they’ve seen how easily and needlessly it’s been squandered through the foolishness and greed of those who have come before them and somehow have the gall to pretend they had nothing to do with it.
I’ve done well enough in my personal life, but men look to be a part of something greater than themselves. That is difficult when most opportunities are no longer there because the organizations that in the past offered them have been destroyed spiritually or literally.
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Raging about legitimate grievances is not the way to go. It does no good. All it does is generate misery. Better is it to focus on moving forward, solving problems, and figuring out ways to better yourself.
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That and reciting the Serenity Prayer constantly.
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